Finally Lentils

I'll explain why this is called "Finally Lentils." So, I've been planning to make this lentil soup since around June, but never really got around to doing it. Everyone at work knows about this.

It's pretty stupid, but now it's March. I think I'll finally get to making that soup.

Personally, I love lentil soup. It has such a nice texture and it goes well with so many things. And heck, lentils are one of nature's super foods. It's packed full of protein and the elusive fiber. This is one of the tastiest ways to get fiber into your belly.

One thing though. I never liked the way it looks. It's the same with French Onion Soup. That brown liquid always makes me feel like it's dirty water. You'll see what I mean when you see the pictures later. It will look awful. But when you close your eyes and you take a chomp. Oooo boy, it is so good. So, no matter how gross and weird it looks, you better try it. You'll thank me.

Just like that last one, this is a good recipe. I've made it before, and I'll make it again. Although, I do make it a little differently every time. Well, this is what you'll need.

1 bag of lentils

8 cups of low sodium broth, or just water.

1 large or 2 medium onions

2 large carrots

3 cloves garlic

Salt/Pepper

So, those are the ingredients that are pretty much necessary. Actually, you only really need water and lentils, but that's not good. Onions and the carrots will add a nice rich sweetness to the lentils and the garlic, salt, and pepper are just for good taste. If you want, you can also add:

1 can of crushed tomatoes

2 big spoonfuls of tomato paste

Ham/Bacon

Celery

Parsley, oregano, etc.

Just go with your imagination. That's what cooking is about. Learn from your mistakes and just figure out what makes it not as bad. Oh, and fun fact about celery: I freaking hate it. It's got this nasty ugly taste to it. I just can't stand it, but if you like it, by all means ruin your soup. hahaha, some people seem to like it. I don't know why, but they do.

Well, this is what the stuff looks like.

First things first. Wash your lentils. Just rinse them out. Make sure to get all the stones out.

You know, I think it's some weird lentil conspiracy because those lentil people always sneak in a pebble or two. Sometimes you end up buying a bag of rocks.

These aren't stones, but they're ugly and it bothers me. So I take them out.

Cut up the onions like always. Chop chop chop.

I like my carrots cut into sticks like this. It's not really julienne, but it is a little. I don't really know why but I just do. You can cut it whatever the hell way you feel like it.

Chop up the garlic. The orange, as most might have already imagined, is from the carrots, not weird garlic.

So, here is the beauty. This giant slow cooker.

Funny story. When I first went to buy a slow cooker, I went to Wal-Mart, and asked where they had their slow cookers. The lady asked, "Crock Pot?" Being a dummy and never having heard the term "crock pot" I immediately thought she said Crack Pot and thought she was calling me a drug addict. Long story short, there was a big confusion and I eventually bought this behemoth of a cooker. Eh, it's funnier when I tell it in person. And you sort of had to be there...

*awkward silence*

So... once you got all your things rinsed and diced and whatnot, throw them in the pot.

Look at them all happy together!

Now for the liquid!

I highly recommend using low sodium chicken broth. I don't mind having fat there, but the thing about salt is that it makes the lentils a bit tough when you cook them. So no salting until after the cooking.

The tomato paste gives it a really nice flavor too! I don't think I ever leave this out. But you could if you wanted... to have a crappy soup.

Just take a spoonful of it and just...

STIR!!!! although sometimes, that doesn't always work.

I don't have a picture of it, but I usually take the spoonful, put it in my hand and rub it into the liquid. Sounds gross, but it's your hand, and you're going to be eating it. And if you have friends eating it too, then just don't tell them about your hand being in the soup.

Look at my wet hands! Bay leaves are probably the only herb/spice I'd put in at this time. All the others should wait until a little before you finish cooking.

Remember! Count the number of bay leaves you put it. See, in my hand, there are FOUR.

When you are done cooking, you will need to take them out. It helps to remember how many you put in.

There you are. Done. Just set it on low for approximately 8 hours or high for 4 if you're in a rush. HAHAHA. In a rush!? Who rushes things when using a slow cooker? HAHAHA.

So, in about 8 hours, you should have.....

OH MY GOD! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!?

Clearly, I screwed up. No, this is not a joke. I did screw it up. Looking back I made two big mistakes.

#1: I forgot the can of crushed tomatoes to give me some extra liquid.

#2: The can of chicken stock was only 6 cups! Not 8....

So my soup is now a paste. As delicious as PBL (peanut butter lentil, yes I have made it and it is gooooood) sandwich is, I wanted soup!

Well, we can fix it!

And here's how!

Add the crushed tomatoes, MIX!

I didn't have any more chicken stock, but luckily, I have chicken bouillon. This is apparently a chef secret thing, but I hear that a lot of restaurants use this stuff onto their food without making it a stock. Crazy huh? Anyways, just about 2 cups should be fine (One cube makes two cups broth).

I always liked this Sazón thing from Goya. I don't really know why, but I do. Try it.

Well, once you mix everything together. Just let it cook for a little bit of time, or just eat it right there. It's good.

I have this pictured alone, but this is wonderful over some rice. Or you can try it with some corn bread! I was also absolutely serious about the PBL sandwich, but you will want to cook out some of the liquid first.

Ah, so we turned an almost epic failure for post number two into a success story. It's not too bad. But an important lesson was learned today. Just because you screwed up doesn't mean it can't be saved.

And until next time, enjoy!